Tales About Motherhood: Guiding Young Bella

On this week of Tales of Motherhood, our little Bella seemed to grow deeper and deeper in her emotions. How do I know? Well, at the age of 4.11 she told me she would miss me one day when she grew up, had a baby and would live away. When I dived deeper with her on this, she opened up

about how she would describe me to her little one. I honestly couldn’t wait to hear and it was sweeter then I could imagine.

Bella said, "She would tell her child about how I had brownish- reddish hair, light blue eyes and how I was always dancing and smiling."

There are two parts to how I feel about this: First, I cannot believe Bella sees me in this way and she feels that deep connection at her young age. Second, she is already missing me even though I’m standing right in front of her. I told her I would be there when she had a baby (if she wanted) to help and I would be her babe’s Grandmother...you should have seen the smile on her face.

This seemed to please her, but I was touched by the depth of our conversation. This reminded me of my role as her Mamma Bella which is to watch over & guide her to become the person she is meant to be. To stand out of the way as she isn’t all mine AND to remember how important I am to her.

As we are both communicators, I get to watch as she tries to put into words her love and feelings. I am so blessed to be given this gift & to be able to recognize and cherish it.

Click here for more Tales of Motherhood posts.

So how would I describe Bella…so far? She is a connector. Whether its another child who keeps to themselves or an extrovert singing away, she connects to them and brings them together. She can go to a retirement home and connect or go to a nonprofit agency and question some, but treat everyone the same. And this means so much, no matter someone's culture or age or situation she will try to connect with love and positivity.

As I write this, imagine my almost 5-year-old running past me wearing her grown up 'kid heels'. Ahhhh! I find myself remembering that this was the dream I always had…it’s just more intense & busy because our bond is from love and hard work. I loved this Tales of Motherhood because it captured our conversation. Tell me Bella, do you remember how you thought about your Mother? What advice would you give to a new Mamma?

Tales About Motherhood

It’s been almost 5 years since she came into my life, rocked my world, turned everything upside down, changed who I am, taught me about love, patience and perseverance. No one can explain what Mommy super human strength is and worrying about someone else every day and then people will say “oh has it been 5 years already?”

To me it feels like 5 years. Motherhood is an uphill battle, a marathon not a race, constant learning & growing from both of us and a lesson about letting go. When they are really little it can be tougher, but once you are through babyhood and then mommy fog brain you realize you are raising someone who gives back, has opinions, loves you a lot and only wants you when she’s sick.

Even though we have a difficult job, Mommy’s can be tough on each other. We all need support to raise little people and to be able to say I had a rough day. Remember tomorrow will always be better….better is not perfect. And you never know what that Mommy had to go through to get out the door or what smells are in her car or the tantrum that happened 5 minutes before you saw her.

So why are we striving for perfection? I don’t want her to have a perfect mother. I hope she knows she has a mother that gets up every day to help shape her. To show her how amazing this world is and to appreciate everything she has. A beautiful childhood, but also a real childhood so when she is faced with realness in her life she can be more prepared and less shocked.

Motherhood to me equals patience and imagining each day as a building block. And remembering that the memories my little one might have of these years is hopefully laughter and love. And if everything else fails we can still dance and sing in our pajamas while cooking.

Tell me did your vision of parenthood change after you held them? Why are Mamma’s so tough on each other?