Calling All Love Stories: Blending Two Religions/HinJew

Friends ask me, how do you blend your family with two religions and cultures? As children, we want to feel safe & accepted, so how do you make children feel unique instead of just being different? I tell them I believe it’s better to go outside of the box and make your own path. Well, that’s what we’ve

done. Our blended family is called HinJew and this is how it’s going…so far.

I’m from Toronto, Ontario and I loved growing up there (although I don’t remember defrosting snow off our car). My family moved to Southern California when I was starting high school. In my twenties, I moved to San Francisco and lived there for 8 years. My husband was born in India and then his family settled in Marin, California when he was a child. He moved back and forth between Southern and Northern California for school and was lucky to travel the world.

We both became American citizen's and learned how to fit in. I had to change my Canadian accent, learn how to pay for health care and had to remove my Canadian flag from my backpack. My honey also adapted to this country, while still honoring and learning about his culture at home.

Over the years, I’ve been amazed at how both of our religions are similar. They are both warm, centered around food (different kinds of food) and gather families & friends around our tables. But I remember at our weddings seeing how different our colors were. Our Hindu wedding was filled with the brightest oranges, pinks, purples and golds while our Jewish wedding was filled with blush flowers, champagne bridesmaid dresses and silver.

Sometimes those colors don’t translate or speak to one another. So, we concentrated on showing our family & friends that our union was about love, friendship and combining our two religions.

Once we had our young Bella keeping her happy and healthy was the most important thing to us.

Then we started to teach her and celebrate both of our religions. She is being taught on one side of her family about her Hindu culture/religion and we have introduced her to the Jewish religion with books, prayers, trips to the local JCC and celebrating both of our holidays together. Ultimately we are asking Bella to attend A LOT of holidays, parties, learning different prayers, so Bella feels connected to both Canada, India and America.

“Jewish makes me happy and Hindu helps me. God helps me sleep at night and I love when I trust my heart. I love when I wear dresses/sarees and at Hanukkah time I light the candles.” from young Bella age 4.11

Are there other HinJew’s out there…yes and I would love to find them. Let’s revisit this post again in a couple of years to see how it’s all going. Have you ever thought about going outside of the box lovely? Which picture is your favorite?

Disney Ruined it for Everyone!

My bedtime story would usually end…and then the prince reached out his hand, helped the princess onto the horse and they would ride off into the sunset. I can’t remember my bedtime story ever ending with…and then my prince reached for the remote, turned on the ESPN channel and he stayed sitting on the couch... for hours. In this day and age, isn’t this ending more realistic?

I recently met someone at a cafe for a networking meeting. We both had a friend in common and he felt we could help each other in business. We connected over coffee and after a half an hour of chatting about work, our conversation turned personal and we compared notes on relationships, men and women, marriage and families. One of his comments has still stayed with me.

He said, “Disney ruined how women date and look for their mates. Women are still waiting for their prince on the white horse who can’t seem to find them.”

(photo from the movie Prince of Persia)

Shouldn't we be taught that relationships can be rewarding and difficult all at the same time? When I was a little girl, it never occurred to me that my Disney prince could have faults. If I wanted to be with someone exactly like me, then I should have just dated myself!

Disney teaches a fairytale image to little girls. Women tend to be focused on the magical wedding day and not as much on the marriage. It usually takes maturity and getting your heart broken, to learn that faults in a person can be a good thing. I believe there's a problem when you don't love that person, warts and all.

In college, I was given the best dating advice: ask yourself if you would leave your new puppy with your guy for the weekend. If you say no, ask yourself why you’re leaving the little girl in you, with him. Leave comment and let me know if you agree. Did Disney ruin it for everyone?